• Antoinette Minor

The Guilt Associated with Resigning

FYI. This post is from a real place. I might get fired for this but this blog wouldn't be real if I didn't share my story honestly and authentically. 

So, over the holidays you all know that I picked up a seasonal job to help cover some personal and holiday expenses. The holidays came and went and I find myself still at this part time job even though my gut is like, "girl leave!" This isn't the first job I've had to resign from but there are plenty of times where I've had offers to begin a new career but the guilt got in the way. Yea... I've stayed at a job just to not feel guilty.

I got some real problems with letting things go. Clothes, shoes, things I don't use anymore.. the list of stuff that I hold onto goes on and on. It is in my nature to feel guilty about ending things but you would think that I wouldn't struggle as much with resigning from a job right? Remember when I left a job and took a pay cut for a better opportunity? Yea, outside of that one moment I'm really terrible at quitting.

Just being honest here. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and its often how employees get stuck in a certain position or company without any growth. We become attached to our work, our managers, coworkers and even the routine.  You're worried about losing those you are close to at the office and even think about who will take your office mate to lunch on Wednesdays if you're not there. We're also human and the thought of letting someone down, quitting or causing problems is not on our list of things we like to do. Plus loyalty to a company is what we are taught but the guilt of letting go can really cause us to lose track of our own goals, wants and needs by hindering the motivation to leave.

Let me tell you about how I've quit two jobs unprofessionally because I was too afraid to say something and face the guilt. The first was my very first job that I had while I was in high school. In the beginning the job was fun and a few of my friends worked there. It was more of social time than anything but as my friends began to leave and I saw that I was being worked like a dog for pennies, it got old real quick! Quicker than a gel polish manicure... I would call out all of the time and at one point I had called out so many times that I didn't even know if I was on the schedule or not. Although I was probably fired at this point I decided to quit by writing a letter that said I was unable to work due to health issues and that I was not coming back... Genius right!?  I left it at the customer service counter because I couldn't even handle talking directly to the manager.

Another really stand out moment of resigning was the time I was in college and worked for half a day. No really. I didn't even finish the day. It was a job on campus to call alumni to ask for donations to the school. At that time I was super scared of sales and it was definitely not up my alley. Once I got a taste of exactly what the job entailed I walked right out during break time. Again, never spoke to the manager and I was so savage that I didn't even leave a letter of resignation. Yes, its hilarious when i think about it but I was just wrong ya'll.

Then there were those moments where I actually didn't leave. I could tell you plenty of stories of how I was so close to quitting a position for a new opportunity but I couldn't do it because the guilt was too much but that would be counter productive. The truth is you have to know when to leave and leave with your head held high. Oh, and also with that resignation letter along with a two weeks notice. Girl, don't burn your bridges now just because you're trying to jump ship!

Seriously, there are reasons why you are thinking about leaving in the first place. Don't take that for granted because your inner self is telling you its time.  Think about it. If you stay as an unhappy employee you aren't really helping yourself or your employer. You'll end up like me. Someone who half asses their way through the work and calls out all of the time. Now that will certainly ruin your reputation!

God spared me and let that mistake happen very early on in my career so I didn't have to pay too much for it. 

So, I've spent the last several weeks trying to quit a job that I'm really uninterested in for the sake of worrying about management's perception of me and the fact that they decided to keep me out of all of the seasonal employees. I have to realize that without me the company moves on but me without TYP... now, that is just not going to work. I have to step away from this job to spend more time on doing what I love. I miss blogging and its unacceptable that I've gone 18 days into the New Year without a new blog post!

Yes, when working for a company the goal is to be irreplaceable but also realize when its time for you to be replaced so you can go on to bigger and better opportunities. Don't take on the guilt that employers tend to force upon you when you're ready to move. Be selfish about making the right moves because you are too important not to make the best decisions for yourself. 

With that said I'm turning in my resignation this weekend. If its time for you to leave your current job then you WILL be looking for new opportunities this week!  No more guilt when it comes to resigning and making the right decisions for ourselves and our careers. Do we have a deal? Deal! 

See you at the top,

The Young Professionalist


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